Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Victimization or Twisted Narrative?

It is prom season, and teenagers all around the country have donned their silk, chiffon, and satin dresses and put on their suits and tuxedos. But here in Richmond, Virginia, an incident that occurred at the Richmond Homeschool Prom has caused quite a stir.

The drama is surrounding a girl named Clare, who is a high school senior. Clare was asked to leave her prom for breaking dress code and behavior rules.

Clare fights back against the actions taken by the prom authorities in a blog post entitled Fuck the Patriarchy. Clare talks about her appearance at prom in the blog post, saying,
I’m all dolled up, channeling my inner Marilyn Monroe with my blonde hair and bright red lipstick. I’m a tall and fairly curvy girl and you know something? I looked hot. Not trashy, but you definitely would look twice when I walked through a doorway. And you know what happened? I got kicked out of prom because of it.
Clare goes on to say that she made sure that her dress fit the dress code, which simply stated that dresses could be no shorter than fingertip length. Clare tells how she arrived at prom and one of the ladies in charge stopped her and told her that her dress was too short. Putting her arms to her side, Clare showed the lady that her dress fit the dress code.

Later on in her blog, Clare says that she and her friends were, "a little grossed out by all the dads on the balcony above the dance floor, ogling and talking amongst themselves." Clare attests that she and her friends weren't dancing, and that they were only "swaying with the music." Clare states that the lady that approached her about her dress at the beginning reappeared with another woman, presumably another chaperone. The woman told Clare and her friends that some of the dads that were chaperoning had, as Clare stated, "complained that my dancing was too provocative, and that I was going to cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts." A friend of Clare's spoke up and said that Clare hadn't danced for more than two seconds. 

The ladies in charge proceeded to ask Clare to leave the prom. Clare protested and demanded a refund for herself as well as for her friends, because they had to leave together due to driving arrangements. Clare reports that she received a refund but her friends did not. As Clare and her friends were leaving the prom, Clare says that they shouted profanities at the prom staff and flipped them off. 

Here are Clare's closing words on her post:
"Goddamn I’m not responsible for some perverted 45 year old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on and a big ass for a teenager. And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem."
Those are some interesting word choices. Accusing homeschool dads of lusting after herself is an extreme allegation. Anyways, that is Clare's side of the story, as reported by Clare.

Needless to say, I was shocked when I read Clare's blog post. But my shock turned to anger when I saw how many people had read her post, and were doing their own stories. This story has obviously sparked extreme controversy. Some of the headlines for the other posts on Clare's story are, "Christian Homeschool Dads Lust After 17-Year-Old Girl, Get Her Kicked Out of Prom," "Girl Kicked Out Of Prom Because Dads Found Her Too Sexy," and "Teen Girl Kicked Out Of Homeschool Prom Because Creepy Dads Couldn't Stop Drooling Over Her."

This story has gone completely viral. Last night, NBC News covered the story in their evening news, complete with an interview with Clare's sister and boyfriend (whom I know). I find it unbelievable that NBC aired this story on television. Their first source was the blog post written by the girl that was kicked out, and though they attempted to contact prom authorities, they didn't speak to anyone involved with the running of the prom. NBC also failed to air any interview of other individuals who attended prom.

I read some of the comments on articles written about Clare and the incident, and the vast majority made me sick to my stomach and ready to give up on humanity. Not only were the people bashing homeschool prom, they were bashing homeschoolers, homeschooling, and especially homeschool dads. Nearly all of the comments were offensive, and many were profane. Countless people called the homeschool dads "perverts." One comment said that they deserve to go to jail.

I have always loved prom. I attended seven or eight while in high school. Out of those seven or eight proms, I attended the Richmond Homeschool Prom for three consecutive years. In all of those years, I  NEVER saw a chaperone showing obscene behavior, from a dirty look to a lewd comment. The chaperones at the Richmond Homeschool Prom are typically adults that have children at the prom. Every year that I went, I knew several of the chaperones personally. The chaperones are unpaid volunteers. Out of the goodness of their heart, they volunteered their time and service so that the prom would be a fun, safe, and memorable experience. Granted, I realize that the prom was operated by different people this year, but I know one of the women in charge. She is one of the nicest women I know, and she wouldn't want to hurt anyone. 

This year I did not attend the Richmond Homeschool Prom, but my brother and a huge group of my friends did. I heard several reports from eyewitnesses that Clare was in fact dancing provocatively, and that her dress was hiked way up around her thighs.

I am not one to judge, and I am not one to jump to conclusions either. I am sorry that Clare's senior prom was ruined. But the fact of the matter is that Clare was kicked out for a reason (eight other people were kicked out for similar reasons --but Clare claims she is the only one). People aren't kicked out of prom for "swaying back and forth" and wearing an appropriate dress. The prom coordinators and chaperones weren't out to get Clare. I am sure that the last thing they wanted to do was kick someone out. An individual's actions and or attire have to be extremely risque to be asked to leave prom.

The most upsetting and ridiculous part of the entire story is that the dad chaperones are being portrayed as perverts.  If Clare wasn't attracting any attention due to inappropriate clothing or dancing, as she claims she wasn't, the chaperones wouldn't have noticed her and said something to the person in charge. However, Clare did attract attention, and I don't think it was because she is "leggy" and "curvy," as Clare referred to herself. Come on Clare, really? There were hundreds of girls at prom. Do you really think that all the chaperone dads were just staring at you? 

In years past, I know that before attending the Richmond Prom, all attendees were required to sign a form that acknowledged that the rules and dress code would be adhered to. Like any other prom I have ever heard of, if you are asked to leave for breaking the rules, you have to go. Clare was asked leave, and she should have done so peacefully, after respectfully talking about the situation with the people in charge. Instead, when leaving, she and her friends created a scene by cursing and flipping off the chaperones, then writing a blog post entitled "F**k the Patriarchy." Now her version of the story is viral and ignorant people everywhere are calling homeschool dads perverts.

I can't believe that this situation has blown up as much as it has. I find it very sad that Clare and her friends care so little about the Richmond Homeschool Prom and the people that ran it that they would portray it and them in such a terrible light. The people that are applauding Clare for her actions are doing it because they have bought into Clare's portrayal of herself being victimized. Clare is not the victim here.

I'm not writing this blog post to make people angry. I'm writing this because I am outraged that something that could have been handled in a completely different way has blown up into something huge. And now, hundreds of people are reading twisted articles that couldn't be further from the truth.

Somehow, this whole situation has morphed into a scenario where Clare was victimized by a prom coordinator and "ogled" by chaperone dads for being "hot" and "leggy." In reality, a girl was kicked out of prom with very good reason, and she freaked out and decided that the world needed to know her "story." 

Moral of the story? Think about the implications of your actions before you take a drastic one.

"People 
generally see 
what they look for
and hear
what they listen for."

-To Kill A Mockingbird

111 comments:

  1. Ths was absolutely perfect. Thank you.

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  3. Seriously as a homeschool Mom I do have higher standards for my children than shaking thier "a**" , twerking, hiking up their dress or acting like they need attention so desperately they are willing to cause a scene for it. I appreciate your take on this as I feel it's one of the few with eye-witness accounts. My husband has a higher standard for our daughter and our sons, that doesn't make him a pervert, that means he is looking out for them - obviously Claire's parents aren't homeschooling for the same reason most of us are - to set the bar HIGHER so our children become BETTER. And to cuss and flip off adults? Yea, Claire is going to find real life a shockingly rude awakening. In public school or a JOB if you are caught doing that type of behavior, you would get in trouble, suspended or even fired. She needs to learn to curb that temper bc it looks like, as a senior, she has some lessons about socially acceptable behavior to learn still.

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    1. From what I've been told, Clare's parents also set the bar high and at least some of their children believe the bar was too high and have rebelled.

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    2. Clare makes her own decisions and you can't point fingers at her parents.

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    3. "as I feel it's one of the few with eye-witness accounts"

      Except it contains no eyewitness accounts. It's an opinion piece by somoene who wasn't there telling us what she heard from sources that to us are anonymous.

      What I find interesting in this story is that the people expressing concern were men, not women. And that part about causing teenage boys to have "impure thoughts" sounds like something out of the 1800s. These two facts alone in my mind lend some credence to Clare's version of the story.

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    4. Anon, the women were absolutely expressing concern. Clare never even talked to a dad chaperone, save for a security guard, who was posted outside. I am sure that if you were at the prom, and you saw Clare's completely inappropriate dancing (as so many of my friends did), perhaps you would understand.

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    5. Really Anonymous at 6:45 PM - Clare makes her own decisions? No, because my daughter would not own a dress like that, as the parent, I decide what they own. They don't have jobs and they live under MY roof. So yes, the parents have culpability here. And that dress does not go fingertip length, her arms are very deliberately bent to give the appearance that it does. So it did NOT meet dress code.

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    6. I believe that twerking and shaking your butt is just dancing. Sure its inappropiate dancing, but it's still just dancing
      Teenagers these days are just trying to have fun. There are guys that shake their ass so well they dont get in trouble for it? That is dumb and sexist. Shaking your butt shouldn't be so "big of a deal"
      Shaking ones butt has been going on for more than 10 years and now in 2014 we decude to make it viral? That is completely ridiculous!

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    7. And i don't even know how to shake my butt. I'm a hip hop/ breakdancer and i even conclude that shaking your butt is not a big deal.

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    8. Kasie, I don't even know where to categorize twerking in the dancing scheme. So I won't.

      The fact of the matter is, the Richmond Homeschool Prom set clear guidelines for dress and behavior, and one of the rules was no dirty/inappropriate dancing. That includes twerking, grinding, etc. Clare was given two warnings before she was kicked out, so it's not like she wasn't aware that her actions weren't appropriate according to the rules outlined by the Richmond Homeschool Prom.

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  4. Excellent. Thank you for writing this, Alexa.

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  5. God you're self righteous.

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  6. This is what I figured happened. Thanks for setting the story straight!

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    1. How did she set the story straight? She wasn't even there.

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    2. Erik, and I guess that all the other media and new sources that reported this story were there?

      Think about what you're saying. I know countless people that attending that prom this year, including my brother. I went to the prom for the last three years.

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    3. Going to previous proms gives you insight regarding what happened in this specific case? I am guessing logic was not part of your homeschooling curriculum.

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    4. She probably means she is familiar with the venue, dress code, and rules of acceptable behavior.

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    5. A different set of parents wouldn't be volunteering at the same prom every year. It would be parents from the same pool therefore allowing judgement from the actions of the parents from previous proms to be viable and applicable to this prom.

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  7. Beautifully written, sanely analyzed and portrayed. Thank you for this. I hope that it is the first step in repairing all of the damage Clare has done to the Richmond Homeschooling Community, as I grew up in it and, until now, didn't realize how much I care about it.

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    1. This was great wasn't it. This is the first time I have EVER responded to a blog. I just felt so bad for this community, and I'm here in MI. I read her version and did my own research to find this and another blog, plus all the comments from the locals. I am so appalled daily by how the press is destroying this county, and there is no more classic example of people worldwide (london daily mail was especially viscous) who ran this story in the most sick of ways.

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    2. Thank you Brian! I really hope that this post helps to show people the truth. It is truly sad how this entire situation has been blown out of proportion and twisted by Clare and countless media sources.

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    3. Kelly, thank you so much for doing your own research instead of believing all the false media reports. I completely agree with you. The press has a huge presence in our culture, and sadly, oftentimes it is a highly negative influence.

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    4. You know. There was a time when women, wearing pants and tshirts was not "proper". I think you as parents need to accept the times. I'm sure your parents were disgusted with Cyndi lauper and her influence on teen girls just as you are probably disgusted with miley Cyrus's.

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    5. Anon, this has nothing to do with "accepting the times." In Clare's case, if she wanted to dance inappropriately, she should've gone to public school prom. The Richmond Prom had clearly outlined rules that forbid dirty/inappropriate dancing. When Clare signed the registration form, she agreed to follow the rules laid out by the prom committee/coordinator.

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    6. Anon, as a parent who was a teen back in Cyndi Lauper days...ya we got kicked out of proms too if we broke the rules too! LOL! Rules are rules. They always have been and always will be. It's called "life" and it isn't ever going to be fair.

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    7. Alexa, I believe you that something other than what Claire claims happened, happened. But this article is neither clear nor analytical. All you have said is that Claire dealt with something that happened poorly and that there is no way her story could be the whole truth. Both fair points. But both lack any support. This absence of facts lends credence to Claire's story...if there is another side to this story, why won't you share it?? She was dancing dirty? But people say she hadn't danced at all. Yes rules are rules, but please, stop speaking in platitudes.

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  8. My entire thoughts exactly. This has completely gotten out of hand. I'd say more, but I'm just not in the right mind to do so, and others have said by now what I would say anyway. (also, anon, why did you feel the need to hide while saying that?)

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  9. Since I live in the same community as those involved and know some of them, I have seen this story unfold since the night it happened. I have yet to contribute in any way to posts, articles, comments, etc. concerning the situation... Until now.

    Just want to say thanks for writing this and I appreciated your words and tone. I totally agree about everything you said.
    If anything, I hope that all those involved can at least agree that the situation has been blown vastly out of proportion and that disrespect and disregard has been displayed on the part of Clare and company.

    And to Anon: I disagree with your saying that she is self-righteous. I don't see how you would gather that from her blog post and would be interested in hearing your specific argument for believing so.

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  10. What happened to actual journalism? What happened to the media making sure they had all of the facts before a story was reported. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? I am not opposed to the idea that someone can be picked on and singled out, however.... If you are pushing the limits of what is considered appropriate at every turn, you have no right to buck the system when you are caught. It sounds like she was given a chance to attend the prom, and blew it. Why is the media talking to Clare's sister and boyfriend? Why aren't her parents chiming in on the situation?

    Thank you for giving this story an more unbiased side. Thank you for doing some actual research. Thank you for defending those, who have gracefully stepped aside and added to circus that this has become.

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    1. I wish I had all the answers to your questions, Bridget! I have no idea why the media is talking to Clare's sister and her boyfriend. But CBS 6 News recently aired a segment where they admitted that perhaps they weren't hearing the whole story (from Clare). They also briefly interviewed my friend Callie who attended the prom, and her mother. Both Callie and her mom held that everything was blown out of proportion, but rules are rules. And in coming to the homeschool prom, Clare submitted herself to those rules.

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  11. Thank you for this, Alexa. I was there too and Clare's story is mostly fabricated. The vast majority of people who were there that night know what actually happened, and unfortunately it's not at all what she said. I'll just make a few points about the whole thing.

    She was in fact dancing (and it's a stretch to even call it that) inappropriately, as many people who witnessed it have confirmed. Her dress had ridden up to the point of almost seeing her underwear, and someone told me that they actually did see that.

    At this point I've seen many different accounts from people who were actually there and witnessed it. But of all those, I have yet to see an account other than her own and her date's that supports her story. Every single first-hand account I've seen contradicts her story, and rightly so, because her story is false.

    As you pointed out, this story got turned into, "The dads are perverts who can't control themselves." Clare said she knew what they were talking about. I've been in that church many times, both on the floor and on the balcony, and unless she is a very good lip reader, there is no humanly possible way she knows what the men were talking about. There were 500 people in that room, nobody at all would be able to hear conversations going on in the balcony. They could have been talking politics, the NFL Draft that day, the ramifications of the Peloponnesian War on the economy of ancient Greece. Point is, there is simply no way she knows what they were saying. And she failed to mention that there were women on the balcony as well, who, like the men, were doing their assigned jobs, not standing around ogling just her out of the 500 people there as she implied.

    Contrary to what she claims, she was not the only person kicked out. As you and others have said, 8 other people got kicked out as well. I know one of them, and that person was also removed for dancing inappropriately. But you won't hear her story because she knows she was in the wrong. Or I should say, she accepts it. Clare knows it also, but refuses to accept it. Clare's supporters on various sites have said she should press charges for sexual harassment, going so far as to say the dads should be arrested. But Clare isn't pursuing any of that, because she can't. And she knows she can't, because she has no case, because her story is fabricated.

    She wanted attention, and she got it. I find it sickening that she's portraying a victim of something, to the point of exploiting readers of her sister's blog for donations. Anyone reading her original blog post about it with an open mind can see she is clearly immature. She knew before going to the prom that she was pushing the limits. She knew she was going to be stared at and attract a lot of attention.

    And to be perfectly honest, she is not nearly as attractive or "hot," as she puts it, as she thinks she is. I could easily pick out at least 100 other girls from that prom that are more attractive than Clare, and that's not an exaggeration.

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    1. Thank you Jordan for your comment! You're correct on all points. I hope that she realizes how blown out of proportion all of this is. In reality, when you're kicked out of a prom, life should just go on. A blog post entitled "F**k the Patriarchy" isn't necessary or wanted.

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    2. Thank you Jordan for ACTUALLY providing facts/useful information. You could have foregone rating her appearance, though. It undermines your credibility and makes you sound like a jerk. Your personal taste in women is irrelevant (unless of course you are one of the "perverted fathers" lol).

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  12. Hey, thank you so much for sharing the real story. This has been blown so far out of proportion on Clare's end and I am so grateful you spoke up. I was at the prom and you're totally right. Thank you for telling the truth.

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  13. Just to add a little background to people who don't know Clare personally; I have known her since she was a child. She at one point was very clingy to me. But she always had a way of making big dramatic deals over very small things. I'm a super passive and tolerant person, but she was the one person who made me visibly upset as a teen. All this to say, Clare has a reputation for creating drama to make everything about herself, without thinking about how it could affect others. So everything she says always need to be taken with a grain of salt. I feel really bad for the other kids who attended who may end up being affected by this. And it has snowballed way out of control. I hope the truth comes out to public soon. Also, as another person I saw said, there's a chance someone may have recorded something. I can't imagine no one at a prom had a cell on them to take videos and pictures. I mostly though just want this to settle down...

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    1. That's very interesting. I agree. Surely someone has a picture or something. But at this point I just really want everyone to stop posting terribly skewed articles about it.

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  14. Thank you for writing this. I hope everyone reads it to the end and sees through this prom girl's misrepresentations and slander.

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  15. I was showing my mom this story. It did not make since. This made me realize I really should hear both sides before making judgments. Thanks for writing this!

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  16. Hi Alexa. Thanks for sharing your perspective. Please remove my sister's last name from your post--she's still a minor.

    Thank you.
    Hännah

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    1. Hannah, as I said to you and you father in an email, under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, the freedom of speech and press, I am legally permitted to use Clare’s entire name wherever and whenever I want. It would be different if I was using Clare’s name for advertising or commercial purposes (Virginia Code § 8.01-40), or in connection with false statements (defamation). Clare being a minor in no way restricts my right to use her name.

      There are several articles circulating the internet with your daughter’s name attached to them. Isn’t it fair to say that when Clare wrote a heated blog post and allowed her story to be aired on the news that she gave up any right to privacy that she might have had regarding the incident?

      Also, as a note to you, insulting people doesn't make them want to do anything for you. I will remove her last name because your father was completely polite in his email, completely contrasting your response to me.

      Perhaps in the future try to remember that not everything is about sexism and slut shaming. People get kicked out of prom. Life goes on. Sometimes there isn't a bigger picture. Sometimes girls will do anything for attention.

      A

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    2. Wow, Alexa, I hope your family has conferred with a lawyer on that. What you've written above would, in a court of law, be considered hearsay, and could in fact be considered defamation.

      Good luck with your smear campaign.

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    3. Hannah, actually, I did confer with a lawyer. And hearsay refers to rumors. Numerous eyewitnesses saw your sister dancing inappropriately with her dress showing her underwear.

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    4. Hearsay is "Yes, your honor, they said...." STOP. Slander is "Joan is a slut that should be fired from etc etc." I am allowed to say, "In my opinion, Joan is a slut." I am not allowed to say the former.

      Your sister acted like an idiot posting her poor me sob story. There are more holes in it than can possibly be filled. The fact that MSM ran with a one sided affair is just proof that America is sliding further into the gutter. Thank your sister for adding the lube.

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    5. Wow, Alexa. You are quite the self righteous cunt. I also doubt you at any point conferred with an attorney.

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    6. Anon @ 7:20,
      That is a horrible thing to say. Are you male or female?

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  17. Now can we make this viral?????

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  18. Alexa, Thank you. Honesty, integrity, self respect, respect for others...all of these missing from the ''viral -sob story'' ...thank you for taking the time to share truth. ~Autumn

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  19. Thank you, Alexa. I knew there was something wrong with her story. I wish you well in your world traveling. It's a big beautiful world out there. You just got to know where to look! -John

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    1. Thank you for reading, John! And thanks :) It is a big and beautiful world.

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  20. The media that you speak so harshly about didn't use Clare's last name, since she is a minor. Also, how can the media be faulted when none of the organizers, parents, etc. came forward that night when contacted? The media stories I read made sure the first night not to report the name of the church, the prom event or any of the organizers, even though their names were known.

    YOU might not think it is worth a story -- but look how wide and far it has gone. It was a story. And you're all just whining about it, but NO ONE has produced ANY evidence of anything.

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    1. This isn't worth a story, because nothing happened other than a gross injustice to the chaperone dads. It has gone wide and far because it is simply drama. Drama has a way of getting around. There are far more important things that the world should be hearing about.

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    2. Get over yourself, Alexa. Who are you to judge the importance of what the media reports on? "Gross injustice to the chaperone dads"? Really? I guess you're entitled to your opinion. Being that there are HEAPS of other stories like this out there, many of them going way beyond just 'ogling', I'm gonna side with Clare on this. Dudes need to learn how to control themselves and shut the freak up about being uncomfortable.
      Have you ever known someone who's been sexually harassed or assaulted? This story is on the very same topic. It's about personal responsibility and respect.

      PS I'm not the 'Anonymous' who posted above, fyi.

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    3. "Who are you to judge the importance of what the media report on?" Last time I checked, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

      "Dudes need to learn to control themselves"? What first hand evidence do we have that the dads didn't control themselves, other than from the angry blog post from the teen girl that got kicked out of her prom?

      This entire story has nothing to do with sexual harassment or assault. This story is about a girl that got mad that she was kicked out of prom for breaking the rules. No one was sexually harassed, and no one was assaulted.

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  21. Alexa, you would agree with me that you obviously have a bias towards the Richmond H.S, right?

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    1. I love prom, and I loved the Richmond Homeschool Prom every time I attended. However, I am not "biased" towards it.

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    2. Anon@ 12:46 am, I agree. I believe Alexa is just a tab bit biased.
      Personally, I really don't know whom to believe. I feel if there was
      an issue with Clare's attire,
      chaperones should not allowed her
      admittance in the prom. A refund
      should have been given before she
      went into the venue. Furthermore,
      for all I know, the people who are
      claiming that they were there and
      Clare was at fault, may dislike her.
      I mean the African-American dude she 's with in one of her pictures could be an issue too, if he was her date. Who's to say. Obviously, the whoke truth isn't going to be told by any party involved directly or indirectly.

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    3. Please leave race out of this conversation. James, Clare's date, has said race was not part of the issue and should not be injected into it. Clare and James were also not the only multi-racial couple at the prom, and only Clare was asked to leave, not James. In addition, from my reading on the area, James and his family are quite involved and respected in the local homeschooling community. Alexa could answer that better than I.

      Alexa, thank you for a well thought out and written post. Much more coherent and supported that poor Clare's. I say poor Clare because I think she needs our sympathy as she is maturing more slowly into adulthood. Let's ho9pe she catches up to you. Soon. :-)

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  22. Alexa- Thank you so much for this. I'm only "Anonymous" because I don't have accounts with any of the available options. My name is Kathy and I'm 53 years old. I have 3 adult daughters, youngest is 19 (we just did the Prom thing last year) and the others will be 25 and 28 in June. Just pointing this out so all understand that I'm well aware of teen youth and the "modern" fashions.
    With that said, I can't believe that this Clare girl didn't know that a clinging (very) short dress of that particular style creeps up higher with every step one takes. I know among the very many stories I looked up and read about this incident (because it just seemed too far out to be entirely TRUE),that her mother actually approved of this dress for a Prom.
    I don't want to inject my opinion too far here, because I don't know this girl, her family, the Homeschool group that sponsored this Prom- but I DO know about "Homeschool".
    I would like to point out to those that don't, that "Homeschooling" is NOT always a choice.
    As I said, I know nothing about this girl and/or her history, I also find it very odd that there isn't a whole lot more information about her put out since she has brought this on herself with her nasty mouth and behavior-however, I do want to point out that some families "Homeschool" because for various reasons, their child will not be accepted in any local school, usually criminal behavior related, so "Homeschool" is the only other option unless the courts place them in the Juvenile Justice System, ya'know- kiddie jail.
    I just wanted to mention this because so many times Homeschooling gets a bad rap when it isn't mentioned WHY a particular family or student is being Homeschooled.

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  23. Let me guess. You're closely connected to one of the pervs?
    The point of her labeling the "ogling dads" as perverts, I'm guessing, is because they are the ones responsible for getting her kicked out, no? She's upset, and rightfully so. If a guy can't keep his own thoughts clean, that's his problem. End of story. Nobody else but you are responsible for your thoughts or for the actions they lead to.
    Yeah, rules are rules, and if she broke them, fine. Kick her out. But saying stuff like "her appearance is going to lead some people to think impure thoughts" is just garbage.
    This so reminds me of so many abuse/assault/rape cases that included some jerkface claiming that the survivor "deserved it" because of something they did; walked on the wrong side of the street, had too much to drink, "wore provocative clothing"... none of which are a reason one gets attacked/ogled/harassed. That stuff happens because the perpetrator can't or won't control him or herself.
    It goes back to the previous point. You are responsible for your own stuff! Grow up, take ownership of your crap, and deal with it.


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    1. Hannah I am just going to assume this is you. Those "pervs," as you call them, are homeschool dads that had daughters and sons at prom. Out of the goodness of their hearts, they volunteered their time and effort to ensure that the teens attending the homeschool prom had a safe and fun time. Homeschool dads are some of the nicest and least creepy guys you will ever meet.

      I find it interesting that Clare said that the dads in the BALCONY were "ogling." Because that is the only place Clare referenced seeing a dad "ogling." Having been to that particular prom several times, I vividly remember that the balcony is high up off the dance floor. The room is dark, people are dancing, loud music is playing, and yet Clare somehow saw that dads were "ogling" at her? Unless Clare was watching the dads for a long period of time herself, there is no way that she could see if they were "ogling."

      And what exactly is "ogling"? Were their mouths hanging open? Unlikely. And how can Clare even be sure anyway was actually looking at her from the balcony? There were hundreds of people at prom.

      This is nothing like abuse/assault/rape cases. I can't even believe that you would go so far as to say that. That comment shows your ignorance. There are women tragically raped and abused whose stories are never told, while one girl gets kicked out of prom and the whole situation is blown and twisted out of proportion.

      Perhaps you should take your own advice. Or even better still, Clare should take it.

      Clare: Grow up, take ownership of your crap, and deal with it.

      Couldn't have said it better myself.

      Delete
    2. Excellent points made with strong logical argumentation. Alexa, I'm extremely impressed and also pleasantly surprised by you.

      Outstanding Job.

      Delete
    3. Alexa, you're one of the ones that needs to grow up. You sound like a jealous little girl. With a face like yours, no wonder. Ugly inside and out.

      Delete
    4. Anon @ 5:47 PM,
      We will ignore your argumentum ad hominem. Look it up.

      Delete
    5. Alexa, I suspect most of what you're saying is true, and Clare should have been removed from the event for inappropriate behavior on the same dance floor as 13-15 year olds, but blaming women for "making" men think impure thoughts is a fundamental precursor to the establishment and support of rape culture and its associated grossly misogynistic repercussions. I, for one, as a man, am deeply offended at the idea that I am viewed by this weird dogmatic culture as a volatile primate with raw, crude emotions beyond my ability to control or processes responsibly.

      These are the kinds of ideas that lead to the belief that women are subservient, that denying sex any time your husband demands it is sin and warrants divorce if the man so desires, and that sex and all its accompanying emotions should be repressed in the female until she becomes nothing more than a vessel for male pleasure.

      I'm assuming you're far too young to truly understand what rape culture is or how it evolves; and most especially its consequences for innocent women. Clare was out of line and violated policy. That in no way, shape, or form warrants she be held liable for the lustful thoughts of males in the vicinity. Or that she was "asking" for ANY sort of non-consensual incident with any boy present - even if she was butt naked and rubbing herself.

      Delete
    6. There is a direct correlation between established dress code and "impure thoughts." You say "even if she was butt naked and rubbing herself" which would be against the rules. Why do you think it would be against the rules? Sanitary issues? Why do we have dress codes at all? I'll help you out with the answer. It is for the people around you, not for the person in question. It isn't for warmth or safety. It is for the benefit of people who don't want to see your underwear while you are twerking.

      Delete
  24. Last Anonymous, and the same for what flies out of this girls dirty little mouth. There is something called having class, and acting grown up. sometimes you may not like or agree with what happened, but you don't go out the door cursing and flipping everyone off. Making such a scene.. If my daughter acted like that in public, even if she was wronged, I surely would not support her in this. She would have to answer for her behavior while she is living in her moms and my house. Don't know how any parent could support that kind of behavior. Because of this behavior, this gals story looses it's credibility. Most adults know that there are other ways to resolve an injustice (if it is truly an injustice). Its called having some class!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Were any boys thrown out for vulgar dancing? What if your sons underwear was hanging out? Would that justify public humiliation? God bless the gals that have to be raised by sexists like you.

      Delete
    2. Reply to your reply and "Labeling": You are the same type that would argue that if you felt like dancing around in public in your underwear and the Policeman came to arrest you for indecent exposure, that its the Cops fault for being judgmental and "Thinking Impure Thoughts" . That he is some kind of deviate for enforcing his rules upon you. Then during the arrest, trip downtown, and after you post bail, you would publically engage in name calling, cursing, flipping him off, and that would be justified because heck, that cop is just some self righteous pervert who can't control his thoughts. Heck he would be in your eyes just being a typical male. Instead you would be forced to take responsibility for your actions by a court of your peers. Then you could continue your tyraid and curse the Judge for enforcing his pervert morals upon you. So does this make any sense? We have dress code standards and acceptable public behavior for a reason, to ptotect others from substandard and indecent behaviour. Especially for teenagers (both boys an girls) for a reason, so someone trying to push it past the limit of decency (hence the Rules) can not ruin a public event for everyone else without consequences.. So I guess you will never understand parents who want there kids to grow up being respectful of others, including not being offensive to all the other kids at this type of event. To think of more than your selfish desires, but also for the comfort of the other 500 kids at this event. No this is not just about Clare and her "Presumed rights" to act anyway she likes, and the rest of the world be dammed if they object. Heck they are the Perv's. Go Crawl back under that rock you crawled from beneath.. BTW My daughter has class and would not act or dress in a questionable manor. Not because she would be afraid of her parents, but because she was taught by example. That's also the reason she is finishing up her Bachelors with a 3.9 GPA and one of Calif. largest Universities. So yes Go did Bless her, far more than you will ever see.in your lifetime.

      Delete
  25. It appears that Clare has some serious issues. First, she has a highly inflated view of herself...she isn't "hot". I wouldn't give her a second look because she looks trashy. She manipulated her story to conceal the real reason why she was asked to leave-I find it interesting that she downplayed that she was, in fact, dancing. Then, she spins the syory to state that "the old men" in the room were salivating over her...Not quite. As one of the "old men" in the room who witnessed her behavior, we were just as shocked as everyone else. Yes, the men were staring but, I wasn't because she was "hot" as she states...she was making a SPECTACLE" of herself. She wanted to be noticed by "the old men" in the room. She's a manipulative young girl who's walking in the gutter...that's the best way to sum it up. Clare is the one with the problem....this is Clare's issue--noone else.

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    1. Joe, thanks for this. I was really buying Claire's sob story. But, being a women, I cant really tell if other women are pretty or not (im not a lesbo!) But, now I know! If you wouldnt take a second look at her then she must not be hot! Ergo, she must just be straight trash. Plus, as everyone knows women shouldn't have high opinions of themselves unless they are hot. And good point about her wanting the old men to look at her. In this age of new wave feminism we often let crazy notions into our minds! Like the notion that girls sometimes just want to have fun. But, alas, you are correct. She must have been performing for the men in the room. As women, we pretty much do only think about men. Thank you for clearing this all up Joe.

      Delete
  26. Hannah, Um... really... you want Clare's last name removed, when she already has had all sorts of news published with it in it? She wanted attention.. why not give all rights to her full name?

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    1. Agreed! I was confused by that, too. If you find the Facebook screenshots, SHE herself posted on the Richmond Homeschooling Page, so why all the sudden does she not want her name out there?

      Alexa, thanks for bringing all this to light. I live in Richmond and grew up in Richmond. The sense of community in Richmond is fantastic. I read the original story and immediately wanted to side with Clare. As I began thinking about it more, though, it didn't make sense. It's a one-sided story and the numbers don't add up. Not a single one of the dads said a word to her. Not one. She made an assumption that they were staring at her. I find it hard to believe, out of 500 teens, all the dads were staring at HER (excuse me...ogling). Most adult men - especially dads with teenagers - don't "ogle" minors on a daily basis. Until another side of the story comes out I think this is all a non-issue and has gone way too far out of line. My heart goes out to the men she called "perverts", as I am sure they are wonderful, caring men who want their teens to blossom into respectful adults.

      Side note: With regard to traveling the world, Alexa, DO IT. My husband and I travel as often as possible and my best memories are made during our travels. There's nothing quite like it. Best of luck to you, sweet Alexa!

      Delete
    2. Those are exactly my thoughts. Hannah's sister was very rude in several emails to me.

      I am going to remove Clare's last name because he expressed that even though Clare has given up her right to privacy with this issue, the family has not. While I do not necessarily agree with this, I respect his request.

      And thank you, Anon, for looking at this story logically! Many people have read the media-twisted reports without even using common sense. And yes! That is so wonderful that you and your husband travel! I hope that I can make wonderful memories abroad too :)

      Delete
    3. @Alexa, @Anon Thanks for reminding me to mention travel. Alexa, Anon is 100% correct. You will have GREAT memories, you will also learn to have a really great "global perspective" Now, I only have a half century under my belt, but I started seeing the world early (around 20yrs old back in the mid-eighties) and I'm blessed to have done that. You learn to explore and learn not only geographically but socially,& mentally. I don't see the world (or this specific issue) like a lot of people who have never experienced anything else. You get to see so many sides of life, and human nature. OK I'll stop now, I know I sounding all sappy now but, honestly, soon, when you get your own memories, you'll get it!
      Like the one morning around 6am on a reserve in Africa, we asked our driver to keep up with a Tower(herd) of giraffes imagine my surprise when we were going over 30mphs??? You don't see THAT in an American Zoo!!

      Delete
  27. The problem here is that this young lady showed no honor or dignity. Instead, she accused a group of men of lascivious activity without presenting a shred of evidence, and then used the media to defame them nationally. If she was “twerking,” as reported, and if her underwear was showing, then those men may simply have been discussing what to do about her behavior. And if what I have heard here about her is true, then this matter is not necessarily an incident about misogyny and patriarchy, since the men would have undoubtedly responded in the same way to an undignified male at this prom, it is a story about pubic slander.

    I think Clare and her supporters have done themselves, their alleged cause, and these men a grave disservice. I think there is misogyny in our culture. As a man, I am able to witness it firsthand, and as a Christian man is it important to me that both men and women be treated with equal dignity and respect. But Clare has now worked to increase misogyny, since many people will tend to dismiss legitimate complaints of women as being merely the sort of illegitimate complaint that we see here in this situation.

    Even had Clare been wronged, her response was crass and dishonorable. Her use of profane language, her writing in crass self-admiration, her casting aspersions at others cloaked within the false interest of fighting misogyny are all behaviors that strongly suggest extreme immaturity, dishonor, and narcissism. Dignity and honor are in themselves shields against injustice. Had she these virtues, her story would have had a powerful and lasting effect against the wrongs in our society. But as it is, it is just fodder to generate ratings for participants in the 24 hour news cycle. The long-term effect of it will be the discrediting of Clare Schlaudt, even should actual injustice occur to her in the future. She will never be taken seriously again.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you for your balance here. One thing I'd like to note is that if you read the young lady's account carefully, you're going to come to the conclusion that her critics have of her. She calls herself "hot", talks at length about her physical attributes and how she knows they'll draw attention, and about how her dress was apparently at the minimum length.

    In other words, she was looking for attention, but got it in a way she didn't desire. Now I won't go through the whole account, but suffice it to say that a journalist who understood a touch of "logic" ought to have quickly seen that the story was not to be taken at face value.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thank you so much for sharing the other side of this story. I figured there was more to this story.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Scary, this situation sounds eerily familiar to a book I read. One girl (Abigail Williams) tells a non truth and all of the sudden the whole town of Salem is destroyed in the course of a year. Not the exact same but lets just recap. This story has:

    Done a disservice to a community that didn't deserve it. (if you see my previous comments, that what PERONALLY got me mad enough to not let this go)
    Done a disservice to fathers who didn't deserve it
    Done a disservice to specifically Home Schools Fathers ( the 3 I know personally are more protective than that "Tiger Mom" lady!!)
    Done a disservice to ACTUAL victims of abuse.
    Done a disservice to ACTUAL victims of abuse by "perverted old men"
    Done a disservice to the voice of all women.

    On second thought, this is just like Arthur Miller's book!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thank you for the insight - I am a 21 year veteran public school teacher turned homeschooler and these same stories are spun by the media each year on public school proms and homecomings. There are rules of behavior and rules of dress. There are administrators at the door and teachers in the dance to enforce those rules. Those that break them are asked to leave. I have volunteered to chaperone several and it's a hard job because teens do act inappropriately and many times their dress is just too risky. I turn to the parents who have allowed this. As we look at her posts, we could again turn to the posts. I'm sure her parents have seen them. Is this how you wish to have your children represent your family? All of these posts become a footprint on the internet for a potential employer or scholarship committee or college application committee. So she may feel that she is the winner in this battle of hers through the social media and news media, but no one has ever offered Jerry Springer a serious job nor the actor who played PeeWee Herman. My suggestion to her parents is that they begin leaning forward more and set higher standards in behavior and etiquette.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Claire was just dancing that way to make me mad after we broke up two weeks before... She flashed me twice that night and I reported it to Jason (one of the dads).

    ReplyDelete
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    1. This information, if true, is quite revealing.

      Delete
  33. Except that her dress met the dress code.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Not when she was dancing all over the place.

      Delete
  34. Ummmm I dont see how this is any different from Clare's story meaning that its just statements with no real proof or evidence to back what your saying besides the words of some people that say they were there & honestly idk if they were even really there or just saying they were to add support to their opinion?!? I mean I could say I was there & blah, blah, blah & you wouldnt know if I was or not no offense!! The only thing I know for sure is that I dont think her dress was inappropriate what so ever because there was a pic of her dress connected to the news story I read. Now to say the dress did get inappropriate because it was riding up or she pulled it up or she was dancing provocatively I cant say because I was not there & until someone provides some real proof that those things did happen besides word of mouth the only conclusion I can come to is her dress wasnt inappropriate at all. And that if she was dancing inappropriately she should have been given an opportunity to correct the behavior along with the 8 others that were supposedly kicked out of the prom before getting kicked out. Truth is dancing now days is just way more provocative than it used to be & thats the way young adults are dancing Im not saying it should be accepted but like I said they shouldve gave a warning & chance to correct & if they didnt after being warned then asking them to leave would be totally appropriate.

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    1. Let me explain from my point. I have heard Clare's story, then I research and find 2 or 3 other blogs and hundreds of comments from people who live the area, and were there. Clare's story is singular, 70+ comments from people that were there are PLURAL. This isn't a hard concept. This is NOT about a dress, let it go, This is NOT about dancing "now and days"
      If what I read was wrong from at least 7 or 8 sources that she was warned, but ignored the warnings then your right, but Clare says she wasn't and then I read over 10 comments from kids that were there that says she was?
      I read the first story and felt so bad for this poor girl who was ogled by "perverts above" until I read that this place is huge and there were over 500 people there. (one kid stated that she would have to be a lip reader to figure out what they were saying.) Plus the comments from the chaperones who stated the dads had the job of surveying the party, and moving lights and things. So tell me Anonymous, being someone who took this as objective and looked at the whole scenario AGAIN, how do you justify your not seeing any difference in Clare's story and other stories that actually match?

      Note, I'm not being confrontational or anything to you, please don't interpret that I just want to understand.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Kelly!

      Anon, Kelly is correct. Clare was given not one, but TWO warnings. I heard this from an adult that chaperoned the prom. Again, Kelly is spot on in saying that the room is huge and there were hundreds of people there. Not to mention it was dark, and there was music playing loudly. No dad approached Clair inappropriately. Clare only states that she was "ogled" from the balcony. I have been to this particular prom at the same venue many times. There is NO way that Clare could see ANY facial expression or read lips from the dance floor.

      Delete
  35. I read all of this, and what a waste!
    There are no eye-witness accounts; this is merely an opinion with subjective banter.
    This post is just as "bias" as any of the other versions of this story, especially since it is written by someone who wasn't even there.
    You claim she is skewed in her narrative, and for what? Because you knew one lady who supervised the prom this year?
    Clare's dress met the guidelines, many witnesses claim she barely danced, and the fact that chaperones stated she was perpetuating "impure thoughts" is just downright ridiculous.
    It is not her fault of what men could potentially be thinking, specifically because she followed the rules.
    Either it was jealous female chaperones or perverted men chaperones involved, because she looked absolutely fine. Her last prom will now go down in the books in ruins because some people felt that she would impose impure thoughts? I mean, c'mon!

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    1. Not thinking you read all of this Rachel, If you did you would have read my comments. Now again, YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME , there were eyewitnesses, a few of them. If they are lying ok! But there are a lot of "witnesses" who claim different from you and Clare. Your right, you have to weigh this stuff. Until theses people you say saw something different start speaking up, Clare's narrative will remain skewed and wont hold up. (except for the media who are trying to sell their "narrative")

      Totally open to believe what you just typed (let me remind you)
      "Either it was jealous female chaperones or perverted men chaperones involved"
      and if that's the case I will flip my opinion, I'm open that way! But you "c'mon"? You don't see the damage this does to REAL female victims? Wow Rachel, just WOW.

      Delete
  36. MR.TRUTH OF THE MATTER This is part 1. I was there that night and I had a blast. After talking to one of the leaders because I'm close with them it needs to be known that the whole case being made for Clare Schlaudt is that she would give the boys impure thoughts. If this was true she might have a case but it's not. After talking to the lady that kicked her out it has been made clear that no one told Clare that the fathers said she would give the boys impure thoughts. No one said that at all but Clare. She added that to her stupid blogpost to get peoples attention because honestly if that was true I could see why she was upset. But she fabricated all that nonsense in hopes to get attention which she is known to always be seeking. Her older sister Hanna is on a hate campaign against homeschooling and conservatives because she feels that's her parents abused her by homeschooling her. She has caused her family a lot of issues because she believe her parents are wronging her sibling by homeschooling. She writes articles like this all the time to get attention and to milk money out of people who might feel sorry for her. But I tell you today that she had a bad experience with one homeschoolers and has decided to influence Clare and some of the other older siblings. This whole thing is ridiculous. The whole world is riding this article for only one thing. Because she said she was told she would cause impure thoughts. So now that you all know that she made this up and that the lady who kicked her out and any other chaperone there said nothing about impure thoughts u can see how much attention she is seeking. A paypal account to support her for college really??? Any college after hearing these stories would not even give her a chance. This is what happens when people don't get the whole truth. Now yes don't get me wrong if Clare got kicked out for her dancing and her dress then some others should have been kicked out too. This is the only thing that I can say was the fault of the prom committee and for the record 8 other kids were kicked out also. But they did not make a scene. They were not puppets being used by the angry sister Hanna who is against anything homeschooling. She walked into prom that night and was heard talking about how she will make a scene. She is her sister Hanna's puppet and this is another way for them to get money and attention.

    ReplyDelete
  37. MR.TRUH OF THE MATTER. This is part 2. This is truly a shame. Clare talks about how her boyfriends was polite and stuff lemme address that too. Her boyfriend cussed out the lady and snatched the money that they gave back to Clare. And one of the people in the group shoved and almost knocked over the lady that was addressing them. Then they proceeded to cuss everyone out on their way out and then flick them off. The others in the group did not have to leave but chose to in support of Clare. When you choose to support a cause or something you make a choice to sacrifice something whether it is time or money. They sacrificed both and for no reason should get a refund for what they stood for. Their choice their consequence. They could have called another parent to come get them. Even if the prom committee had done something wrong (which they didn't) behavior like this makes them less likely to want to help you. Now you have a choice. Listen to Clare's story that has been encouraged by her bitter sister Hanna and that has fabricated the whole case of IMPURE THOUGHTS and they were indeed rude and breaking the rules or look to the truth like Alexa has written and others such as the Hobbs ladies have done also and also what I tell you because I was there and had no allegiance to either side but when I heard from the lady that dealt with Clare's nasty attitude and heard the truth I knew there was only one right side to this. Clare has acted immature and childish and her older sister should be ashamed of herself for influencing this girl to such heights. So no the dads were definitely not ogling FYI she by a long shot was nowhere near the prettiest one there but she was the MOST INAPPROPRIATE AND MOST DISRESPECTFUL one there except for her foolish boyfriend of course. In the end she will see good always triumphs over evil and that she has done herself a disservice for lying and making up stories. She made up the impure thoughts part and she had got the world thinking this is some sexist abuse. No this a girl who is influenced and encouraged by her conniving sister and who decided to be a 17 yr old brat all because she was told no basically. I pray for her family because they don't deserve this but Clare Rose Schlaudt grow up and stop being an attention seeking brat because this will only last for a while before your life dips the other way. And to her sister Hanna your parents love you and did what they thought was best for you and one day you will find that you have either got to move on with your or you can go on and continue to try to manipulate your siblings but God does deal quite harshly with the treatment of His little people. So now you have the truth and Alexa I highly commend you. This might come off as harsh but I'm tired of this foolishness so I put it all out there. Now tell me who is right???

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    1. This makes me soooo sad for everyone involved. I, too, know the family and have watched Hannah grow into a bitter young lady. She has a vendetta against the homeschool community, blaming them as well as her parents for problems in her life, including a failed relationship. And yes, I also agree that Clare's posting of this was encouraged by Hannah as a means of doing harm to those with whom she is angry. No one will win in this situation. No one. Clare's 15 minutes of fame will come at a high cost in the end. One of the many things that makes me sad is the enormous amount of hatred that is evident in the lives of these 2 girls. I wish they could see how destructive hatred can be. Entwining these events with legitimate causes of concern (i.e. rape) is doing a gross injustice to the very causes they proclaim to espouse. Thank you, Alexa, for having the courage to put this out there. I find this refreshingly objective, in spite of some of the attempts to attack you personally.

      Delete
  38. @MR.TRUTH OF THE MATTER first, GoodOnYa about your prom experience!!
    Second, reading your response is kind of bittersweet to me. On one hand: TOTALLY JANK you guys have to deal with this at such a cool time and a major event for most. On the other hand, I'm thinking: "best life experience in the world"!!

    you get to see how this stuff actually relates to the real world. My sister-in-law is a recruiter at a fortune 25 insurance company in the States, she told me she recently attended a seminar on social media and considering candidates. They were instructed that while not everyone who makes faux pas on the web should not be ruled out, not a lot of companies want to deal with what they called "social firestorms" that means people who cause a great deal of controversy and negativity that will affect their company.

    IRONIC THING: Most homeschool parents are getting this 90x quicker than most public or most private school parents!!!

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  39. I know the family well. Clare is a puppet of Hannah's, like someone else said. Hannah has deep rooted anger towards the homeschool community and that i'm sure has contributed to all of this

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    1. Maybe The sisters have reason to feel a certain way about homeschooling. Instead of bashing them, why not ask them why is that they hate it so much.
      You say you know the family so well, maybe you truly don't know them all that well. Why is Hanna holding such a grudge towards the Homeschooling Community? There is something else going on in this story. Hanna may have used Clare to carry out her hate campaign. I think the family as a whole need to come together and get counseling. If Clare and Hanna need help don't bash them, pray for them, ir whatever spiritual thing you're you do.

      Delete
  40. Read this update on the prom fiasco:

    http://calliehobbs.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/dads-are-not-the-problem-part-two-the-truth-of-the-matter/

    It is written by an eyewitness.

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    1. Thanks for posting that. Sorry I didn't think of that earlier, but that was the first one I read before yours. One of the comments from that story lead me to your blog!

      Delete
  41. Alexa,
    Thank you for writing! Stand strong amidst the negative feedback you'll get from writing something like this--especially as it becomes more viral.

    I attended our own homeschool prom in highschool and now return every year as the photographer. We have dealt with dress codes and indecency at ours as well. From the standpoint of a leader, it is hard to make these calls and it's hard to be the confronter. I have watched leaders agonize over the decision of calling an attendee out for breaking the rules. Our students, too, are required to sign a dress code and behavior agreement before coming. We too have turned people away at the door and required modifications. And unfortunately, when people have their eyes set on the world and entitlement, instead of focusing on the hearts and needs of others (Philippians 2), these situations can flare into something ugly. When the parents get involved--it's worse.

    My heart goes out to the leaders of this prom, knowing the pain of those who have stood under false accusation in my own life. I don't know the hearts of these leaders, but there are many great, honest, and godly men and women out there who love their teens and are excited they have the opportunity to have a dance whose character has been thrown under the bus because a teenager, or their parent, was more focused on themselves than on respect.

    Everyone needs to keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with holding someone to their word or to a pre-set standard. If the leaders are not willing to enforce it, why have a standard? And if someone is not willing to comply, why attend? Just like a job, college, or anything else in life--you can't complain when you break the rules.

    Well written!

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  42. Kicked out of a prom because she was dancing to provocatively according to the adult males, sorry thats perverted that is the men at fault for even sexualizing a child its disgusting and in no way is the girl at fault for calling these men perverts, all your doing is making it ok by blaming her for wearing a dress that complied with regulations she is the injured party here not the sickos who think children are being provocative, if i were there the men would would have been shamed as perverts as well this should never happen shame on you people for blaming the girl grow up and take responsability for your own thoughts , This is a child dancing at a childrens dance event and some adults get a hard on so they complain, you people are sick.

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    1. Go back and read the prior postings from the people that were there around 7 pm yesterday. You'll find that the whole reason for your concern was, in fact, fabricated.

      Delete
  43. Alexa, Thank you. I am a homeschooling dad in the Richmond area. My daughter was at the Prom and witnessed the incident with Clare and her friends. I was not at the prom myself, but I know and understand the situation these men have to face. I have been involved with teaching Teens Ball room dancing along with Etiquette. I am especially surprised at Clare's actions knowing she was one of the teens in this program.The Dads were not there to ogle at the ladies, they are there to ensure the safety of all that were attending. I find Clare's actions disrespectful and appalling.

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  44. So sorry that all of this has occurred and is stealing away the fun and joy of what that dance should have been. For those of you who are members of the Richmond Homeschool Community and know this family, you already know that this is a sad, heartbreaking continuation of what this family has been dealing with for a while now. Parents can do the best they know how to raise their children, do all the "right" things, but in the end, as adults, the children will make their own decisions. This is not a homeschooling issue. This issue happens in every high school in every state. Mom and Dad try to instill certain values in their children. Sometimes their children feel "trapped" or "overprotected", etc and choose to rebel.
    I have been involved with these girls since they were young and from first-hand experience, they have continued to push the limits of whatever the adult in authority have asked of them. At a young age they defied the rules and were very proud of it. This is not new, nor is it a case of abuse. It is the result of a girl choosing to defy the rules in order to get attention. I suggest we stop giving her and her sister the attention they are crying out for. The truth is out there. Everyone who didn't know them, now has heard from people who do that this has happened often before. Please keep their parents and siblings in your thoughts and prayers, as well as the girls themselves. (I also am anon because I couldn't post otherwise)

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  45. Thank you for posting the truth! Also people, please don't blame Clare's parents. From what I heard they are very conservative and godly, and Clare and some of her siblings rebelled. I'm not condoning their actions, just pointing the possibility out. Here are two other stories for those of you interested:

    http://onbramblehill.com,
    http://calliehobbs.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/dads-are-not-the-problem/

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  46. All this hatred towards the homeschooling community - what I would like to know is Why didn't Clare go to public school? She has a sibling in public school so obviously that was an option. If Clare hates being homeschooled so much why didn't she go to public school also?

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  47. I am grateful for yours and Callie's bog articles on this incident and especially for the comments that appeared on both. What a mess! I am glad that I now have a fuller picture of what actually happened. Prayers for all involved.

    Oh and I hope you do indeed get a chance to make that world trip :)

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  48. Wow people need to grow up.

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